Leaked: the band’s rider

Obtained by our lawyers. Not negotiable*.

Every legend has demands. Ours were faxed over on genuine 1986 stationery and we publish them in full, unedited, in the public interest.

*Extremely negotiable. The real rider is roughly: tea, parking, and somewhere to plug in the keytar. Everything else is showbiz.

☐ 2x packs Smiths Salt ’n’ Shake (salt sachets COUNTED)
☐ 6x Panda Pops (blue ones only, obviously)
☐ 1x crate Um Bongo (they drink it in the Congo)
☐ 6x cans Pepsi Free (if we’re going 88mph we need it)
☐ 1x King Size Baby Ruth bar (the chunky one)
☐ 1x bottle Blue Nun (warm, like at your auntie’s in 1986)
☐ 12x Wham bars + 10p Space Raiders (pickled onion)
☐ 1x bowl M&Ms — BROWN ONES ONLY (Jump to clause 1313)
☐ 1x can Elnett hairspray per musician per song
☐ 1x Betamax player (for reviewing the gig)
☐ 1x DeLorean parking space (88mph clearance)